Soul. Where are you?
First of all, i asking for ur apologise for this. Pardon me.
Hey, i currently at the second week at University.
How did i felt here? What did i eat everyday here? Who im talking with when i am in a big problem here? Where did i go? When is my rest and sleep time?
Am i okay?
No, i have to be frankly in speaking. No, i am terribly not okay. Its not about weakness or else.
Its about soul. yeah, its SOUL.
Currently i am having a tough week or maybe a month here. Lot of things to be settle up.
and i have to say this to me
"Hey Pojie, wake up la! You're not a kiddo anymore."
everytime i went to the class, walking with my mates, having breakfast, lunch and dinner, before and after sleep,
I always thingking of myself. I am careless, i am useless, i am troubling others, i am dumb,
but WHY? i maybe did not find my true self yet. People did said that, this is a process to be a Teenagers. No, an Independent Teenager. Am i right? Or am i just talking a crap?
Have to say this ;
I miss my old life. There not so many thing to think. I miss my school's life. Yeah, i did. and i did it. When i woke up in the 6.30am, Yeah! There's my breakfast. I took my ironed school's uniform, i put pair of shoes on my legs, i seriously don't have to worry on how am i going to go school with. Do i need to walk? do i need to find a bus? or do i need to take a very costly taxi service? No, my parents or my sisters or my brothers will send me to school until i reach at infront of the school's gate. At school, we only have to worry about homework. Besides that, lunch at the most and the only on canteen there. No need to think where i am going to take my breakfast or lunch. After the school session, the driver are ready to fetch me up at front of the school's gate. Yeah, i am home. My dinner are ready. Watching television, talking with my dearest family, study in a very-very calm condition, and off to bed with a smile.
Isn't that nice? Isn't that wonderful?
Allah, i need to find my soul. I am empty now. as empty as a white sheet.
The only thing that i can do is pray, keep on silence and try not to show my problems.
Yeah, i have to be strong. Amin...
p/s ; im sorry. i've none interesting story to share instead of this null story. I've to share it with ya'all. But don't worry, i'll be just fine in this short time. As long as you guys are on my side, i'll be fine.