its been a year

Monday, December 28, 2009 Pojiegraphy Journal 1 Comments

Congrats, now you've moved on!
ps: sorry kalau terbawa-bawa kepada masa lalu. post ini tidaklah sesuai untuk dibaca oleh orang yang kurang berkenaan dengan tuan punya blog ini. Anyone, sorry for being so freaky today.

1 comment:

  1. Been there...done that.

    After 8 years...8 freaking years...can you imagine?

    In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because we'll never know when we will be able to pick up the pieces again.

    More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.

    At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change.

    Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we want to but because we have to.

    In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him/her. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night.

    Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems we feel lonely and empty without the other.

    I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but ‘letting go’ entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Yes, time does heal all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after." Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains.

    Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up. It's OVER. You're practically GONE although I know you're still around. Life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever.

    There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled.
    Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

    Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go =)

    To whom it may concern:

    why can't you see how truthful, how honest I was to you? How vigilant I was when it comes to you and only you? I gave you my word, but you didn't.

    Both of us, we didn’t express out our feelings, I do take note of that. And most of the time when we were together, I noticed that we paid each other undivided focus. In my mind, I just want to savour the moment, those small pieces of time left for both of us.

    Come to think of the future that I can’t tell nor I can predict, I keep asking myself of where will we go from here, of where is our destination and how’s our ending.

    I did tell you of the 'L' word to which you responded by curving a smile, a painful smile only both of us understood. And thereafter we kept silence throughout the journey of our vague path. I cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel.

    I'm not okay. I am not o-freaking-kay!

    But still, every single time you asked of my well-being, the answer will always be 'i'm fine and doing okay' cause i know if i didn't cherish our relationship, who else? There won't be a happy ending to this. There won't. Full Stop.

    Cinta Terlarang Terhalang.

    p/s: Don't believe what i have said, take a eyes are red. Cause i'm so in love with you...